Acceptance

We want to always feel good about our playing, but that isn’t realistic. We need to learn to accept negative emotions and perform with them as part of the experience, without becoming overly attached to them, focused on them, or fighting with them. It is what it is.

An injury that restricts technique, for example, has to be met with steadfast acceptance. You don’t have to like it or think it’s fair. But accepting it does mean that you won’t fight with it and resist it either. Whatever peace your acceptance affords you might also help you create a solution or workaround.

Acceptance is very different than ‘dealing’ with the problem. It involves exactly where you put your attention and energy into at any given moment. This is critical for musical performance. To be our best, we have to be focused on the moment, immersed in our performance activity. We can’t be struggling to change what we think and feel. Acceptance is when we willingly feel painful emotions in service of our performance-related values.

Here is a language tip that will help facilitate acceptance. I often hear students say things like: “I want to perform X piece of music, but it’s hard.” “I want to audition for the band, but I’m afraid I’ll fail.” The “but” discounts what comes before it, placing an emphasis on what follows. It sets the two things up as if they can’t coexist. The latter becomes the barrier and reason why you can’t do the former.

However, observe what happens when we change the “but” to an “and”: “I want to perform X piece of music, and it’s hard.” “I want to audition for the band, and I’m afraid I’ll fail.”

That simple word change opens up room for both the student’s values and their fears.  This kind of even-handed acceptance helps all musicians take effective steps towards their goals. 

With mindfulness and acceptance, you can adapt to the challenges of each situation, persisting and changing practice and performance routines as required, in pursuit of your highest musical values.